rocknrollrodeo: (Default)
2017-05-21 11:18 am
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Hello friends

It's been a while, hasn't it? Over a year, according to the date of my last post. I completely forgot all about having a blog. It's been one hell of a year and I don't much want to go into the details but it's safe to say it was utterly terrible but we've come out of the other side mostly stronger.

Last night, I came online for the first time this year to over 900 emails. It's taken me hours to sort through them all but among them were Dreamwidth and Livejournal activity. Which led to passwords being reset but here I am. I need to do some general housekeeping ad since I have very little planned for my Sunday I suspect that will be how I spend my day.

I don't even know if there is anyone around to be reading this but if there is... How are you? What have you been up to? Tell me what's going on in your lives
rocknrollrodeo: (The Librarian)
2016-05-11 11:38 pm

New washing machine

I think our washing machine is on its last legs. It has started to make some very strange, worrying, noises while it's washing - and the whine when it's spinning definitely sounds like it's about to take off. None of these are regular noises for a washing machine, and I've had this one since before Tae was born so I suspect I'm due for a new one.

I started looking around for a new one - getting an idea of price etc. When did these things start getting so complicated? I just want a washing machine. A front-loading machine that washes clothes, and preferably dries them too. Ideally for under $1500. I don't care if it connects to the wifi etc - although it would be nice if it iron the clothes for me!
rocknrollrodeo: (Brothers)
2016-05-09 10:39 pm
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Mini Me

When she was younger, Tae was very much like her father both in look and personality. I found this very strange since he was not part of her life for very long. It definitely makes you think about the nature vs nurture aspect with regards to behaviour. You always assume a child picks up certain traits from observing them but when she has a personality of someone who is not around in her formative years, you do wonder where it comes from.
Looks, of course, are part of the genetic lottery and you do expect a mix of both mother and father.

As she is getting older though, she is more and more like me. This is both in look and personality. She looks so much like me that anyone would have thought I had merely cloned myself. I think she will always be petite in stature, although certainly not in personality. She is a lot more outgoing than me. This is definitely my husband's influence. As is her love for drawing and painting. I'm not artistic but she is enjoying it a lot. She prefers bright and warm, which are E's favourites too. She loves to read and learn, and these she has definitely inherited from me and I am very pleased with. She loves pirates and flowers and unicorns, she enjoys dressing up and playing pretend, she loves music and she loves to dance. Sadly, like me, she is not very co-ordinated and her dancing lacks finesse. She make up for it in enthusiasm though, just like me.

It is very strange watching this small person grow and develop and become her own person, yet be so similar to me in so many ways.
rocknrollrodeo: (Brothers)
2016-03-27 01:50 pm
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Peace and Quiet

I forget sometimes how much I enjoy a little peace and quiet. Having the house to myself and being able to completely switch off. I don't have to be anyone other than myself. I don't have to be mommmy, I don't have to be a wife and I'm treating myself with a day off so I'm literally just doing nothing and being myself.

E has taken Tae into the city for an Easter Egg Hunt. She was very excited. There's also an Easter Bonnet competition that she has an entry for. I've been feeling like I'm coming down with a cold so have chosen to stay at home. I'll miss taking part in the festivities but at the same time will be thoroughly enjoying some alone time.

I'm curled up on the couch, a steaming mug of cinnamon-y coffee and a plate of grilled cheese for breakfast. I have a book next to me, the newspaper and Kenny Chesney is singing to me. I have a solitaire game loaded up on my computer. I'm wearing my warm onesie and my fluffy slippers.

Peace. Quiet. Alone Time.
Heaven.
rocknrollrodeo: (Booth)
2016-02-29 08:18 pm

Reasons I am rich

With all the atrocities happening in the world around us, sometimes it's easy to get bogged down in the fear, the anger, the hatred, the uncertainty. To get so lost in others pain. Sometimes it's important to keep things in perspective.

I won’t go to sleep hungry tonight.
I won’t go to sleep outside tonight.
I had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning.
I have access to clean drinking water.
I have access to medical care.
I have access to the Internet.
I am literate and numerate.
I have the right to vote.
I have family who love me

These all seem such simple things but there are people out there who have nothing, who would give everything for just one of those things. I need to take a step back and realise that really, I am blessed.
rocknrollrodeo: (Default)
2016-02-24 09:55 pm

Things that make me irrationally angry!


  • People who assume I'm good at maths because I'm Asian

  • Getting stuck behind someone who walks really slowly

  • Stubbing my toe!

  • People who try to talk to me when they can clearly see I'm on the phone

  • Illegible CAPTCHA spam filters

  • My husband putting empty cartons back in the fridge



All of those have happened to me today. Some of them multiple times, even! Wednesday, why do you hate me so?

I feel a little better for being able to get some of that off my chest. It's now evening and I can relax!

What makes you irrationally angry?
rocknrollrodeo: (Kane Carlson Cute)
2016-02-23 10:36 pm

Summer Sky Dripping Rhinetstones

One of the things I find that people always seem to be most surprised to learn about me is that I love country music. I don't know if it's because I'm Asian-American, I don't know if it's because I'm from the East coast, I don't know if it's because of my career... whatever the reason people always do a double-take.

No, I may never have lived in, or even be to, a small mid-western rural town with muddy trucks cruising up and down the main street but that doesn't mean I can't love the genre. I even own my own cowboy boots and stetson, thank you very much.

My favourite artists include Christian Kane, Thomas Rhett, Billy Currington, Florida Georgia Line, Taylor Swift, Joe Nichols, Luke Bryan, Jake Owen, Josh Thompson, Gary Allan, Easton Corbin, Sugarland, Chris Young, Blake Shelton, Cole Swindell, Carrie Underwood, Brett Eldredge, Zac Brown and, Keith Urban, Dierks Bentley, Kacey Musgraves, Kip Moore... and so on and so forth.

Country music is all about storytelling: there’s a strong focus on narrative voice and many songs are structured as stories with a beginning, middle, and an end. When you listen to country, you’ll meet characters, hear about their conflicts, become invested in the outcome, and then celebrate their triumphs or mourn their failures

One thing that country music has always done well is convey deep emotions through simple, straightforward lyrics. Country singers usually mean exactly what they say, and that honesty makes the music accessible and relatable for anyone who’s ever had a broken heart, wanted to achieve a big dream, or, you know, gotten their truck stuck in a ditch.

Country songs tackle anything and everything: death, abuse, addiction, affairs, politics, war, religion, even murder–the Dixie Chicks have a peppy song about a battered wife poisoning her husband and dumping his body in the lake. And some of my favorite country songs deal with subjects that are harder to define: feeling lost or unsatisfied with life, searching for something bigger and better although you’re not sure what it is. If someone has experienced it, chances are it’s been sung about in a country song.

Some of the greatest protest songs in history have been folk, bluegrass, and country songs. So much about country music–from the honest lyrics to the fact that it was born in the politically and culturally complicated American South–makes it the perfect medium to convey revolutionary ideas. Ever since Woody Guthrie scrawled “This machine kills fascists” on his guitar and sang “This Land Is Your Land” with his defiant Oklahoma twang, country music has provided anthems for countless political causes.
rocknrollrodeo: (The Librarian)
2016-02-18 10:00 pm

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

I would readdress the balance, the division of resources and power between everyone, not just the 1%.
I want to live in a world, want my daughter to grow up in world, where everyone is equal.
A world where everyone has a home, has enough food, has clothing and earns a livable wage.
A world where everyone has access to affordable - if not free - education and medical care.

A little socialist? A little idealistic?
Maybe, yes.
I want to believe in a political system where all people in society contribute to the production of goods and services and that those goods should be shared equally. And a world where this happens is

Sadly, this is not a world or a system that I live in and so I must continue to to balance my ideals with my situation, to educate myself and my family on the best ways to conduct ourselves in a world that is unfair
rocknrollrodeo: (Jason)
2016-02-17 10:30 pm

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done

I quickly wanted to say no until I thought about it. I don’t know if my time ended right now that I’ve done more than I said. Or should I say, I talked about doing things more than I actually did do things. It’s mainly because I seek comfort and predictability. Though I want to be successful, I find myself some times nervous or concerned about taking that chance. Especially after I’ve been burned a few times (very few, but still.)

I think I get too caught up in the dreaming of what could have happen. I find myself dreaming and fearing about the best and the worst things that could happen. I get lost in my head sometimes. Well a lot.

If I’m blessed to get more time on this earth, I will accomplish more than I dreamt or talked about. But I’m going to have to come up with some goal oriented ways of doing more.

One way of doing this is to put more focus on getting what I want. I know what and where I want to be. I shouldn’t be focused on staying comfortable or secure I'm there. So every step I take forward from here on out needs to get me closer to being there.

Another way is to always take a chance a risk. I believe doing nothing is a risk. But you have to take a chance to improve yourself. You might fail, yes. But you might succeed. And if you can learn from your mistakes, it’s only a matter of time before you do succeed.

Lastly, I have to never settle with being comfortable. This is a lot like taking risk. I admit I could get really relaxed and find reasons to stay where I am. Or I’ll get frustrated in the search for “stability.” I have to remind myself that nothing in my life has been “stable.” Sure I’ve had long periods of time with predictable and no drama. Those times had little or not growth either.
rocknrollrodeo: ('67 Impala)
2016-02-16 10:36 pm

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

The first and most obvious reason why we do things we don’t like is responsibility, and responsibility is quickly followed by necessity. More often than not the obligations and commitments that come with responsibility are not fun or something anyone likes to do, but they are a necessary part of survival. Necessity and responsibility are the foundation for sustainability and growth; if there is no regard for the latter, self preservation and survival are virtually impossible.

In a world where nothing is free or handed to us it takes work to survive. The more effort and time that must go into maintaining survival means less time available to be spent on doing the things we actually enjoy doing.

Almost all of the wonderful things we would prefer to be doing at any given moment cost money. In order to do these things, we must not only be able to afford to do them, but be able to afford the time it takes to do them. Usually that means doing things we would prefer not to do, in exchange for the compensation and freedom required to do the things we want to do.

The system was built around the idea that, for the masses, the cost of living and the cost of doing the things we want to do, will always be greater than the rewards for doing the things we would rather not do. This ever growing disparity ensures most of us will spend the majority of our time consumed by things we would otherwise not do, just to survive. In order to do each and every thing, beyond survival, that we would like to do, it requires us to sacrifice even more time doing undesirable things. This creates a self sustaining cycle that is virtually unbreakable.

It’s easy to see how this cycle can lead to the procrastination of the things we want to do most in life to an undetermined time in a better future. A future where we have already been rewarded for sacrificing our time.

Unfortunately, for most people that day never comes.
rocknrollrodeo: (Default)
2016-02-11 10:03 pm

which is worse, failing or never trying?

As well as being one of the 50 Questions That Will Free You Mind which I plab to answer as part of my 101 Things In 1001 Days challenge, this is something I have talked about many times with Tae.

I am sure most of us have the answer to this question within us. Definitely never trying is worse than failing. We do so many things throughout our lives. We take up a number of initiatives, a number of tasks. There are so many opportunities that knock our door. We give a try to some of them, we fail in some and we even succeed in some.

We all want to succeed in our lives, in our endeavors. And we succeed only when we understand the case scenario completely. Failure should be seen as an opportunity to understand, to learn, to grow. And you can fail only when you give a try. Many details are so minute that you come to know only when you analyze the reasons for your failure. Hence, failure here becomes your answer to how you can win and again, to find this answer to your success, you need to TRY.

Those who are not trying are actually stopping themselves from exploring their own potential and capabilities. When you try, you understand the areas on which you need to work on. You understand the areas which are your strong points. Using these strong points and skills, you can achieve great heights in any task. Also, when you try you understand your weaknesses and I need not explain that you can work upon your weakness only when you actually know that you have such a weakness and that can be known only by TRYING.

Thus the conclusion and answer to this question is that Never Trying is Worse Than Failing. It is because by not giving a try, you are creating a boundary for yourselves by not letting yourself to explore your potential. Failing is a good thing as it helps you find the answer or the reasons to your failure and that will not only help you succeed in that particular task but also prevents such failures in future. Also, when you fail, you try out a number of other options to succeed. And exploring those other options is in turn a learning process.
rocknrollrodeo: (Booth)
2016-02-10 10:04 pm

act your age, not your shoe size

Prince may have said it best, but it’s a sentiment many of us can relate to – Act your age, not your shoe size. Lately, in the rush to proclaim 40 as the new 30 – or even 25 – we’ve noticed a trend of 40 year old women who seem, frankly, afraid to grow up. While the phenomenon is most clearly evident in celebrities whose attire, song lyrics and on-stage movements mimic those of pubescent teens, it’s evident in everyday life as well.

I see it in the cliquey group of friends who brag about who they’re wearing and what they’re driving in the never ending effort to best their own circle of friends. It’s evident in discussions about relationships that sound like they’re being had by naive 16 year olds, not 40 year olds who’ve been around the block a few times. And it’s hinted at in conversations that center around who likes who and who’s not our friend anymore (insert pouted lip visual here.) Life, relationships and our own insecurities are difficult to navigate for sure, but at some point, it really is OK to grow up.

We’re all for working it at 40. There’s something to be said about a woman confident enough to show her curves and strut her stuff on stage and otherwise. But at what age does it become ok to put our intelligence, wisdom and charm on display more than your... other assets? In a society where sex sells, at 40 aren’t we old enough to stop buying?
rocknrollrodeo: (The Librarian)
2016-02-08 10:05 pm
Entry tags:

light of my life

I am so proud of the amazing child my Tae is becoming.

She is now an exhuberant eight-year-old who is always smiling and has an excess of energy. She loves to dance and has taken after me with a love for country music, and we're starting line-dancing lessons next month.

She speaks Mandarin better than I do. And seems to keep picking up Russian phrases from somewhere.

She loves to help people and has started doing yardwork or chores for some of the older people in our neighbourhood. She always insists on buying food for the homeless with the money she earns. I'm always being told how polite she is, how well behaved. My little philanthropist.

She loves pirates and flowers (espeially daisies and daffodils) and unicorns and wolves. Her favourite colour is pastel blue.

She really is the light of my life, I'm so so proud of her and I really feel like I'm doing my job right
rocknrollrodeo: (Booth)
2016-02-05 10:05 pm

knitting

I have always been very jealous of people who can make things with their hands, people who can crochet and sew and most of all people who can knit. It's one of those things I have always wanted to be able to do.

My Mǔqīn has tried to teach me many times since I was a child but either she is not a very good teacher or I am a poor student of the craft because I have not yet been able to master this skill. So many people make so many beautiful items and leave me in awe of their abilities.

I have tried learning from other people on campus. I have tried many many books from the library. I am still unable to knit.

I am going to have one last attempt at learning before completing abandoning this as something I simply cannot do. And I am going to use youtube. I have found many instructional videos and last night I was able to successfully cast on. This may not seem like a huge achievement but being able to do it myself without any assistance from another person made me feel I was on top of the world!
rocknrollrodeo: (Brothers)
2016-02-03 10:06 pm
Entry tags:

must be doin' somethin' right

I've always been very fortunate to be confident in myself, in my identity, in knowing who I am, to be able to know what it is that I love. And to not be ashamed or embarassed by it.

I love to learn. It doesn't matter whether it's a class, if I sit in on a lecture, if I read a book or watch a youtube video, or even just watch a quiz show on TV... learn something new every day goes the saying and that's something I fully believe in.

I'm also lucky enough to work in the education field, to work with bright, inquisitive minds that also want to learn. I'm blessed to be able to help guide these young people, to help them find their way and their passion.

I'm one of those frustratingly annoying people (This is what E tells me) who gets up early and jumps out of bed, excited to go to work. I probably put in more hours than the average person, but it's so easy to do because the work day just zooms right by. (And this is why I'm often online at utterly bizarre hours!) I happily lose track of the world and time, losing myself in the task at hand.

Work is not work as many people refer to it, but something that is fun and interesting and exciting. It’s not just a job to me but a passion.